What's in a Name? Everything.

Should you take your husband's name when you get married?

This is one of the first decisions a new bride comes across. Does she give-up her maiden name and take her husbands, does she retain her maiden name or does she do a combination and hyphenate the names? This decision isn't as easy of a decision as it sounds.

There is a lot in a name. It has been your 'identity' since you were born. There is something very 'selfless' about giving up your own name for someone else's name. You become in a sense, 'a new person.' There is something rather romantic about being the new "Mrs." but after the bloom is off the rose it isn't so appealing. Especially if the rose dies and the union ends in divorce and now everyone knows you as "Mrs." and you are no long "Mrs." but "Ms." Perhaps, to further complicate matters there is a new "Mrs." and you still have his old name - like drinking and smelling stale milk everyday of your life.

Then there are the legal hassles. Do you change your name at the DMV to only change it back? And what about credit cards and checking accounts? Utility bills and loans? Do these all need to be changed? And if you marry again... and change your name a second time (or even a third) how confusing can it get?

If you are a professional and establish yourself in an industry do you really want your name 'flip-flipping' around? How much more difficult can you make it for your clients to find you?

Take something as simple as Facebook. Try to find a high school friend from 10 years ago (or more) if her name has changed. Not easy.

I have been widowed, divorced, married and sometimes the most difficult question I have to answer is, "What is your name?" I finally just gave up and just use my maiden name because it at this point it confuses even me.

I kept my married names (as middle names) on my passport (to associate myself with my two kids - both of different last names) and it was just recently made a mockery of by the airline check-in man. "Ha, ha" he laughs... look at all of these names. Well, if he had to live through all of the marriages he wouldn't think it was so funny. Its like making a list of heart-breaks and disappointments.

I think giving up your name is rather archaic. If you don't think so, ask your husband to take your name and watch him explode. Most men won't even consider a hyphenated happy-medium. This chattel-like dominion over your person is rather uncomfortable and totally unthinkable unless you are in the throws of 'never-ending' love and forever familial commitment.

Would I give up the name on my birth certificate again? Not a chance. But then I've been around the block (a few times) and understand all too well the complexities of being an appendage of someone else instead of fully yourself.

What do you think?

According to American Sociological Association 70% of Americans believe women should take their husband's last name, while 29% say women should retain their own name.

What's your opinion?

Husbandology is the Study of Husbands

Husbandology is the complex study of husbands.

After all, who can figure them out? Love them or hate them (or both) they are an interesting species of mankind. We will be studying the 'husband' in regard to romance, finance, domestic violence, infidelity, and negotiation. All wives, non-wives, wanna-be wives, and ex-wives are welcome to attend. We encourage class participation. Everyone has something to contribute on this controversial topic.

Classes will meet here on Monday, Wednesday and Friday beginning August 31, 2009.